Have you ever felt like sometimes life keeps bringing you down??
Do you not know what to do at times???
Do you need help???
Fear not for I am about to share my experience and what I did to make it better....
It was the past few days...
We, the confirmation group students (actually confirmed students), had a car wash that has been planned for some time...
But in this there were some unseen events or actually disasters...
One was on Saturday where my friend reversed the car without realising that a chair was there...
So he hit the chair and the car number plate broke, but that was all just a small case...
It was the second day that was the real killer...
I am in charge for the 2nd day of the car wash since my teacher has not gone for Mass and I already had, I took over....
So I woke up early and arrived at church by around 6.30am....
I was moving around busy getting things prepared for the car wash by myself...
Then suddenly I saw a flash in the sky and was afraid that it would rain...
Well since it was Sunday and I made my obligation to go to the prayer room every Sunday, so I went to the prayer room to say my daily prayer and asked for a good weather and that the car wash goes well....
Slowly the time came....
The rest of them arrived and the car wash started...
Everything seemed fine at first, till something happened...
I was at the back of the line busy leading the two drivers, Luke and Joseph, to park the cars after we were done with it....
But all of a sudden I heard a sound of a car crashing into something....
It nearly gave me a heart attack...
I was so terrified when I turned and saw a car crashed into the wall...
It was none of than Sonia's aunt car...
Her aunt had already said to be careful with her car...
And knowing me, I went there with a lot going in my head.....
I went to find out what had happened...
To my amazement, one of them drove the car without permission.... It was Aaron...
We already had people in charge for driving but he took the car and tried to move it by himself despite being told not to by the few of them...
Then I asked Luke to take the car around and park it at the back....
I started questioning my friend about it....
Sonia was so upset with what had happened and Aaron was feeling scared and guilty...
Sonia started crying not knowing how her aunt would react....
So then things went on....
More and more people came to know about it and finally the higher authorities (sister, teacher Elizabeth, our cathechism teacher) came to solve the problem....
I had a phone call from my teacher who was not around and he asked me what had happened...
I explained and he told me what to do...
We had to stop the car wash and not take in anymore car....
I was frustrated and things got worst from there on....
After much discussion with Sonia's aunt, teacher Elizabeth asked who was the head, in charge of it all, so I raised my head and went to the car....
I was about to explain to Sonia's aunt till I was stopped....
I was actually feeling responsible and scared.....
I was on mixed emotions already....
Then, teacher Elizabeth said, there is no need for explanations....
Sonia's aunt said it was okay and sometimes things just happen....
I was feeling okay at first...
Then, one of my friend called for me....
The uncle who wanted to leave at 8.30am told me off when his car was still being washed...
I told him I had already asked my friends to wash his car but he did not believed me and said "You've forgotten" in quite a fierce way....
It then started to get to me....
On the my way to the counter, I was stopped by teacher Elizabeth and she said something like this "Jason, I did not asked for you to give an explanation. All I wanted was for you to just apologise to the aunty."
She said it in a disappointed tone....
Then, I was already confused and my emotions were getting unstable....
After a while of thinking to myself with a lot of people asking questions, I felt a tear rolling down my cheek....
I was crying already....
I couldn't take it anymore...
At that moment I was talking to someone and I started to try and walk away...
I didn't wanted anyone to see me cry....
My friend who was talking to me realised that I was crying and kept asking "Eh, you okay or not?? "
I said I'm okay and walked away...
Later a few of them came and asked also "Hey Jason, you okay or not?? "
I couldn't stand it anymore I got angry and kept smashing onto the pillar and I broke down...
Ezra, Gilbert.... I felt so bad...
They were there watching as I broke down in tears....
I walked into the hall and sat down on the chair....
Ezra was there trying to comfort me he kept saying "Jason don't like this la"
They all came one by one trying to comfort me....
Even Aaron came and keep apologising but I said "Its ok don't worry "
I kept asking myself in sadness "Why did this happened?? I prayed to you God. How could you let this happened??"
I was angry and sad.... Disappointed.... I started to doubt Him and I questioned him...
I shouldn't have....
After a while I stopped and went out, I sat with the rest in front of that car...
I saw those dent and scratches with the front bumper hanging on one side....
My teacher had finally arrived...
He started saying something which I don't remember and suddenly I couldn't control it....
My tears came down again....
I cried for the second time...
The others who did not know that I cried earlier saw me and they kept asking "Jason why are you crying?? "
Truthfully, most of them thought I cried because of the car incident....
But no it wasn't ....
The truth is that I felt disappointed with myself....
I never ever blame others for something that happens....
I felt that I have let everyone down with poor management....
I felt that I should have been there so I could have stopped him....
I felt that I should organise when to wash which car first and next....
I felt that I should not have been busy at the back and trust them enough to move the cars properly....
I was scared, sad, angry, disappointed....
All the bad feelings that a man could ever feel....
This was our 'fall', not only me but the whole crew there....
But by this 'fall' we had learnt a great lesson and received a good experience....
Through this, I have realised so much more how much everyone cared for me....
Every single one of them was there to comfort me.... I felt so bad that I made that worry...
It was a unexplainable feeling when someone tries to comfort you....
Its just magical...
Later after that, I stopped crying and was relaxed....
I raised my head and saw the others continuing to wash the cars that was already left for us to wash....
I saw some of them who had just arrived....
They were having fun....
So I put myself together and started to take charge again...
I went to them and everyone started to play with water....
Everyone was getting wet...
We were spraying water at one another....
It changed from the car wash which was serious at first into a fun 'human' wash instead....
Everyone was so happy and showing a smile that comes from the heart....
Everyone got wet, so did I ....
We kept playing with water and it was a real stress reliever....
This was the 'rise' of our 'fall' .....
After all the fun with water, we got changed and ready for class...
The class for that day, answered all my doubt and question to God....
Through my teacher, God has spoken to me indirectly...
What my teacher said about this being a great lesson and a good experience was to true....
God had challenged all of us...
I wasn't the only one....
He wanted us to know how hard life can be and we should be strong when we are doing His works....
The car crashing might had been the work of evil powers like my teacher said and I think God has made things right so it changes into an experience....
Then it came to my mind when teacher asked us to tell the class our experience....
I think that this was all similar to the death and resurrection of Jesus....
Like how it is said in the Way of the Cross book....
When we make a mistake, and we learn from it, it is the small death and resurrection in our lives....
I said to my classmates "We should never blame others for something that happened. We can only blame ourselves for it. It is because when we blame another person, there is no one who can comfort him except you. But if we blame ourselves, everyone around us can make us feel better."
And I meant it....
I also said "Only by falling in life, can we then rise again to experience the greater joy of rising. So it is better for us to fall then to never fall. Otherwise we would never be able to experience the joy of rising"
Like how from that sad incident it all changed into a fun,wet time together......
So my dear readers, we should never ever doubt God and always have faith in Him...
We should go through life challenges with a clear mind and heart...
Not forgetting a strong will in prayer...
It does not matter who we are, Christian or not....
Prayer is one of the powerful weapon a person has in life....
And last of all, do not be afraid to fall, just be ready to rise again with that whole new greater feeling....
Thanks a lot for reading and sorry for writing this extremely long post....
Till next time ^^
