Danger on the Road

Today something very scary happened...
It was an event after school...

After having my lunch at the mamak shop, I drove the car back home with my mother by the side...
There was a traffic jam so I had to drive slowly...
As I reached one of the traffic lights, I stopped...
After the red light turned to green, my mother asked me to change to the right lane...
I was about to move to the lane but I did not put on my signal..
So my mum asked me to put the signal on...
As I was busy listening to my mother's order, I had forgotten to look out for incoming cars...

I was slowly moving towards the other lane but a car was coming from the back...
Little did I know about it..
My mother was saying that there was a car coming but I was busy trying to move and put the signal on...
At that moment, it was like I totally forgotten about everything else..
In my head was like, "Change to the other lane, Signal, Change to the other lane, Signal"
I was moving blindly...
The car was coming close and my mum panicked...
She kept on warning me about the car and when I almost hit the car my mother screamed feeling panic...
I was suddenly aware and I quickly avoided the car...

At that moment, I was actually already feeling scared...
My scared mother was in a way scolding me...
I argued back at her saying "You keep asking me to change lane and put the signal then you shouting all somemore, I sure panic also la!! "
I shouted...
But deep down, I was actually scared...
It all happened in a blink of an eye...
If I was a second slower, I might not even be typing this now...
I could literally feel my hands shivering but I drove anyways...
I kept arguing with my mother and eventually I decided to just shut up and drive...

It was scary...
On the straight lane back at my housing area...
I wanted to just let it out a little so I moved a little faster but safely at the same time...
But that did not really help...
I was very angry...
I went up to my room as soon as we got back...
I was very very angry in fact...
But at the same time, I felt fear...
That incident was rather traumatizing for me...
I could have imagined being hit and ended up in a hospital or worse...
I kept thinking to myself...
And all that thinking, I felt tears rolling down my eyes...
I was scared and yet pissed...

I thought to myself , "I can drive why must she be so sensitive about it. I'm a new driver but yet she keeps telling me what to do as I'm driving. That is like back seat driving."
I felt like she was the one that disturbed my attention and almost caused it to happen...
She made me panic at that moment...
After taking a shower, I lied down on my bed thinking about it...
I could feel myself shivering all over...
I was traumatized...
I suddenly just lost the feeling of wanting to drive already..
I felt like a stupid guy...
With all my enthusiasm, all my confidence in everything I do...
I slowly start to feel  that many people don't like the way I do things...
They keep want to keep me under control telling me what to do...
I cried silently on my bed...
Sometimes I wished I had a life like others...
I feel my uniqueness was nothing unique..
I wanted to just quit...

Funny huh??? Being the guy who conviences others not to quit and gives advice...
I myself don't follow those advice I give people..
Easily discouraged and all...
I feel like a totally useless guy at that moment...
I still don't feel good as I write this...

I don't feel like asking to drive the car already...
I rather just be the passenger over the driver now...
It would be for the best...
Now I suddenly feel driving is not fun and just somehow hate it already...
But thank God no one was harmed....
Haiizzz....