Just for your information..

Dear readers,
I'm sorry that it took me so long to finally update my blog...
I had my reasons and was rather busy with studies and gaming...
I just did a quick update and still have two other old events that I really want to share about...
But since my SPM (public exam) is around the corner, I may be rather busy...
So I'll try to update whatever I can whenever I can...
So please do bear with me...
I'm sure to keep you all updated about my exam as well..
Till then readers...
Take care...

When talking to God...

Just today I met with danger...

And on this same day, I went to church for a reading practice...

Just hours before that, I almost met with a car accident...

I could have landed up on a hospital bed or worse but instead I was in church attending my reading practice...

And so I headed for church...

My mother drove this time...

Still a troubled by the incident in the afternoon, I sat in the car quietly... 

So we reached church after a few minutes drive...

I went to the toilet and then entered the church...

There were some others there to attend for the reading practice...

So I entered the church and took a seat...

I waited for Aunty Mary Rajoo as she was dealing with someone else's reading...

So as I was seated alone there alone, I decided to pray to God...

I follow my usual sequence of prayer and finally came to the last part...

I thanked Him most of all that I could even be there in the first place to talk to Him...

I had a talk with God...

The talk was about how I felt earlier this afternoon...

About how scared I was...

About how useless I felt..

About feeling not unique...

About the tears that I shed...

About wanting to quit..

About doing something with all my enthusiasm and confidence...

About driving...

Do I really feel that way???

Do I really hate driving??

The answer is....

It is up to me to decide...

It is not fixed...

That is what is so awesome about it...

And I've decided that is not how I really feel...

I do not hate driving...

It is something I've been waiting for a long time to do...

I'm not going to let that incident though dangerous to break my spirit...

I want to be greater than that...

I shed those tears for a reason...

So I will be more careful when driving from now on...

Full attention in everything I do...

But the thing is, I could have said that earlier but why now??

The funny thing about talking to God is....

You do not hear a voice replying to you..

But does that mean he is not talking to you??

Of course not, there was this feeling...

And then, when I read the bible reading...

Coincidentally, the reading was like God's advice to me..

And then I felt this warm feeling in me...

I knew that God was with me the whole time...

He was actually the one who called to me when I almost made a mistake on the road...

He held my hand together when I controlled the steering wheel..

I realised that it really is important that I pray every time I'm about to drive..

I did not this afternoon and see what happen...

So I'll always say a short prayer before driving, "May there be no harm to me and to others as well. "

A simple prayer but a great protection...

Now, I'm excited, enthusiastic, and happy again...

I will live on with my uniqueness that none can match...

I will do what God wanted me to do...

Be the me that he made me to be...

To be none other than, Jason Niap...

That boy that was born with his own uniqueness...

Danger on the Road

Today something very scary happened...
It was an event after school...

After having my lunch at the mamak shop, I drove the car back home with my mother by the side...
There was a traffic jam so I had to drive slowly...
As I reached one of the traffic lights, I stopped...
After the red light turned to green, my mother asked me to change to the right lane...
I was about to move to the lane but I did not put on my signal..
So my mum asked me to put the signal on...
As I was busy listening to my mother's order, I had forgotten to look out for incoming cars...

I was slowly moving towards the other lane but a car was coming from the back...
Little did I know about it..
My mother was saying that there was a car coming but I was busy trying to move and put the signal on...
At that moment, it was like I totally forgotten about everything else..
In my head was like, "Change to the other lane, Signal, Change to the other lane, Signal"
I was moving blindly...
The car was coming close and my mum panicked...
She kept on warning me about the car and when I almost hit the car my mother screamed feeling panic...
I was suddenly aware and I quickly avoided the car...

At that moment, I was actually already feeling scared...
My scared mother was in a way scolding me...
I argued back at her saying "You keep asking me to change lane and put the signal then you shouting all somemore, I sure panic also la!! "
I shouted...
But deep down, I was actually scared...
It all happened in a blink of an eye...
If I was a second slower, I might not even be typing this now...
I could literally feel my hands shivering but I drove anyways...
I kept arguing with my mother and eventually I decided to just shut up and drive...

It was scary...
On the straight lane back at my housing area...
I wanted to just let it out a little so I moved a little faster but safely at the same time...
But that did not really help...
I was very angry...
I went up to my room as soon as we got back...
I was very very angry in fact...
But at the same time, I felt fear...
That incident was rather traumatizing for me...
I could have imagined being hit and ended up in a hospital or worse...
I kept thinking to myself...
And all that thinking, I felt tears rolling down my eyes...
I was scared and yet pissed...

I thought to myself , "I can drive why must she be so sensitive about it. I'm a new driver but yet she keeps telling me what to do as I'm driving. That is like back seat driving."
I felt like she was the one that disturbed my attention and almost caused it to happen...
She made me panic at that moment...
After taking a shower, I lied down on my bed thinking about it...
I could feel myself shivering all over...
I was traumatized...
I suddenly just lost the feeling of wanting to drive already..
I felt like a stupid guy...
With all my enthusiasm, all my confidence in everything I do...
I slowly start to feel  that many people don't like the way I do things...
They keep want to keep me under control telling me what to do...
I cried silently on my bed...
Sometimes I wished I had a life like others...
I feel my uniqueness was nothing unique..
I wanted to just quit...

Funny huh??? Being the guy who conviences others not to quit and gives advice...
I myself don't follow those advice I give people..
Easily discouraged and all...
I feel like a totally useless guy at that moment...
I still don't feel good as I write this...

I don't feel like asking to drive the car already...
I rather just be the passenger over the driver now...
It would be for the best...
Now I suddenly feel driving is not fun and just somehow hate it already...
But thank God no one was harmed....
Haiizzz....