3rd and Final Semester for Foundation

Hello readers,
It has already been a month since New Years and my last post.
I'm sorry I haven't been as active as promised yet but I'll try my best to post as much as possible.
Why do I do this??
Why do I always wish to be more active in blogging??
Well its simple actually...
I just wanna share my life with the world and keep this as my personal diary.
Someday I'll look back at all this and...
I'll laugh..
I'll cry..
I'll smile..
I'll feel each and everyone of my posts and remember how I've lived...

Well all that aside, this post is a simple post actually just wanting to tell you all my Foundation is coming to an end soon..
I can't believe how fast time flies...
Its already been half a year since I started college and met my friends here..
I'm excited that my semester has started..
The 2 weeks sem break seemed so long that I missed my collegemates rather much...
Especially one particular person...
My semester actually started a week ago on the 29th of January 2013..
I just got back from my CLICQ Training Camp (Which I'll blog about in another post =P ) actually...
So my semester started recently and I'm glad to meet with my buddies again...
As for my Semester 2 result, I got 3.95 =D
Too bad though, I was just a bit more to 4 flat but I'm still happy =)
Now I gotta focus to score well in this Semester...
Well that's all for this post now..
All the best to all my collegemates, friends in other colleges and myself...
HWAITING~~!!! XD

5 years and going

Well, as the title states...
Yes, my blog is officially 5 years old.
Hehe... =) so proud of myself  XP

Well, its not fully covered every single day or week or what not but its still here with my life diary of 5 years.
It started out with my first story of I don't know, Love? Crush?
Well, its still ongoing with all my stories filled with fun, sad, happy, exciting, love and lots more.
I never thought I would even keep this blog going till this long when I first started.
Still interesting to blog even after so many years.
I look forward to more time for me to blog so I can always refer back to my life.
My mistakes, my choices...
All the events of life that brought me this far and created the ME today...
I don't really know if the ME today is good enough for people around...
But one thing for certain, I'm actually quite proud to be myself in certain ways...
Though I still always wished I could be much better in certain aspects of life...

With friends from home, with my new friends from college and with my family and everyone around me...
I look forward to growing into a better person.
To grow in all aspects and mature but still remain young at heart..
To still be ME but a better ME...
God be my guide and be my strength...
And that's it from me for tonight.
Peace out and goodnight dear readers =)

A New Year, A New Beginning... The Year 2013

Looks like the world is still after all... Haha...
Anyways its a new year, might be late but Happy New Year to my dear readers.

2012 was definitely a year filled with memories both happy and sad.
It was a refreshing year...
New faces, new stories, new wonders...
Hmmm... Lots of stories yet untold (hopefully I find the time to post it XD )
And a very interesting happening both beautiful but sad for me...
Well, I'm free to post now actually cause its the last day of Semester 2...
Sitting here with my friends Aiman and Azim...
Yeah, we're spending the last night for this semester together gaming =P
Well, I have new resolutions for the year and I look forward to fulfilling much this year..
I've also brought along with me problems from the year 2012 though...
Yes and its not just any mere minor problem, its a BIG~~!!! one...
Well, with God's guidance I may just go through it all.

I look forward to this great year and may I fulfill much this year..
I also hope that I'll get 4 flat again for this semester hehe...


P.S. I'm not greedy for the good grades, I just have my noble reasons =)

And yeah,

HAPPY NEW YEAR~~!! =D

Merry Christmas

Hah~~!!!
Hello dear readers,
Despite my busy schedule and what not, I can't miss this chance to wish you all....

MERRY CHRISTMAS~~!!

Yes, the world is still here despite people taking about "THE END OF THE WORLD".

I actually have lots of stories to share for you and as a memory/diary for me.

Lots to be told but so little time.

I will share it with you all though so don't worry.

Well truth be told, one of my worst Christmas actually.

Only good thing was I got myself a new jacket which I LOVE~~~!!! so much, I had a tasty meal HOMEMADE for Christmas with a delicious Turkey, had a brief but nice family gathering with relatives, and just finished a rather exciting event.

Sounds interesting for Christmas despite me saying worst?

Yea but far from my normal Christmases, I missed Boxing Day that's for sure.

Had to return to university ON CHRISTMAS~~!!

Got too much personal stress up my head.

Feeling heavy up my chest.

Got some really messed up sh*t up my head.

Have to solve something VERY VERY BIG~~!!

And lots more....

Damn my definition of a Good Christmas is just something fun and relaxing.

Here's a little secret.

I have a secret sweetheart in mind but I can't tell anymore than that.

One of many reasons to actually clogged my mind up with thoughts.

Hopefully God sees through all this with me and I get to clear all this troubles up.

Again MERRY CHRISTMAS dear readers and be thankful we are all still alive.

New Years is in a few days, I have an coming up, and camping on the weekends.

Enjoy the festive season and take care of yourselfs =)

Look forward to more from me =P

What TOMORROW holds...

Hi readers,
Its been way TOO LONG~~!!!
Sorry =(
I've been so busy running events and what not in UNITEN (my college =P)
I'm glad one of my classmate came to know bout my blog (by opening in when my laptop was vacant and turned on) and actually was interested.
Anyways, today I decided to write a post....

Well, its just that time of the year again.
The time where I somehow get so busy with things and get rather emotional.
And to top things up, it was just another of my bad day today.
I'm so packed up with running my events.
Namely the events are "Charity for Cancer" which will be going on all the way to 21st of December and the Prom Night : Masquerade which will be on either the 19th or the 26th of December.
I'm so busy doing not only my job but the job of many others.
Oh, I'm not complaining here actually.
Its just that I find some people to be rather selfish.

These events are our class projects which were meant to help us get our marks.
But for some reason, me and my group of friends are working I would say 10x more than most of the others.
It seems rather unfair.
To top that, some of them are actually giving me loads of crap while they're working.
Thankfully I'm not as bad-tempered as I used to be.
I'm much better this days =D

But that aside, as I said its just another of my bad day.
I'm not sure why but I was in a really bad mood this morning.
After business class, I actually only planned to just do a short briefing to inform my classmates about something.
But what happened instead was I suddenly got rather angry and started scolding them.
Actually not really scold, it was rather like warning and giving advice.
I think I was rather harsh but its not because I wanted to, it was because I cared.
The weird thing about it all was, I think deep inside I'm very angry and disappointed.
I felt that shivering anger which I never felt for ages now.
The last time was in school back at 2009 when I was in Form 3.
I literally felt my arms and hands shivering.
My eyes would usually teared at times like that.
But I had to avoid that.
Well, so it ended up on that note (hopefully no one holds a grudge on me XP )

Truth be told I was in a bad mood because I was thinking too much about something.
Something that seems to have no solution to it....
I would say that I was worried about TOMORROW.....
What do we really know about what lies ahead in the world TOMORROW...
Would we wake up to the morning light or would there never be a TOMORROW...
I'm a type of person who likes to think, and I think this time I'm troubled by the thought...

How would both my events end up?
Will there be a 26th of December or the year 2013?
Will I ever be able to fulfill my dreams of being a successful game designer, a millionaire??
Will I be alone or would I have a lovely wife when I grow up?
How would things in the world be many years from now?
Could I ever be with that ideal girl of mine?
And it goes on...
And on....
And on....
I keep asking questions to myself till I feel so weak...

I'm exhausted but I'm not tired..
My body has the energy but my will is gone...
I couldn't even gather up the strength to use my physical energy...
I'm tired of thinking and doing stuff that sometimes not having a TOMORROW could be a good thing..
But that would just be escaping from REALITY...
So I want to know how TOMORROW will be...
I'm gonna live on till I see my TOMORROW and hope for the better...
As for this time of the year, I'm gonna keep thinking till I find an answer even to the impossible...
God bless me and all our TOMORROW's ...
So what do you think your TOMORROW will be like dear readers??

Take care =D

Losing a Loved One/ To my dearest aunty Rita

This post continues my story from The Thought of Losing a Loved One/ An Un-predicted Day.

So after a long journey back by train, I reached my hometown where my aunty was, Seremban.

I waited for my other aunty to come fetch me and my brother ,who just came back from work, to the hospital.

So we rushed there.

On the way there, my mother told me what happened.

I was told that my aunty's heart beat has stopped and reached 0 at one point before I got back.

But then it suddenly rose up again.

She refuses to let go and kept on fighting.

It was in fact rather a miracle in a way.

Soon, we got to the hospital.

As we approached the gate towards the ward rooms, the guard stopped us and told us to go and register at the front counter.

Already my aunty was in a critical condition and still they give sh*t like this.

I was quite pissed.

Imagine if someone was rushing to see someone and while registering their loved one passes away....

Imagine how angry the people would be...

Yeah its standard procedure and all but my brother and I came all the way back home to see my aunty.

So we quickly registered and rushed to room 6A.

As we were walking towards the elevator, we saw my grandparents.

My grandfather was smiling very happily.

I've never seen such a happy smile on his face before.

He told us that my aunty's condition was improving.

You just can't tell how relieved I felt at that moment.

So we went up to the 6th floor and saw some of my other aunty, my uncles and my cousins.

My brother and I went in to see my aunty who was in critical condition.

When we got there, I saw my uncle (aunty's husband) sitting by her bedside with a extremely worried and sad face.

Apart from that, I saw my aunty.....

Struggling for her life, to fight the cancer, to live on....

The suffering she was going through, it pierced my heart.

I couldn't even bear to watch her being like that.

She held a rosary on her hands and a photo of Jesus was on her.

My brother went closer first and told her he was here to see her.

Then, I did the same.

I told her "Aunty Rita, I'm Jason. I came back from college to see you."

I said that and gave a warm smile with pain in my heart.

But one thing that really made me a bit unhappy was the fact I was rushed to leave the ward.

I came all the way back to see her only for a mere 2 minutes~!!?? >:O

I wanted to stay there for just at least awhile longer, but thinking about it, maybe it would have been better for me not to see her suffering like that.

Just that 2 minutes was rather hard for me actually.

I couldn't imagine how hard it was for my relatives to have stayed by her side for so long watching her suffer.

They were all there for so long that they were so hungry, that was why they rushed.

So after that mere 2 minutes I got to see my aunty, we went off to a food court for dinner.

After dinner, we decided that I return to college with my cousin. (since he lived close-by hehe =D )

So I got back by 10.30pm.

I went to my room, washed my clothes and then took a shower.

I decided to stay up late that night.

Little did I know, things can't always go the way we want it to.

Later that night, at around 1am, while taking a shower, I heard message from my phone.

Somehow my instincts told me it was going to be bad.

I walked towards my phone saying "No,no,no.... Damn, damn, damn."

Then I saw the message from my brother.

I almost couldn't even open my message but I did.

It was news that my aunty has passed away. :'(

My brother also told me not to spread the word around first.

I was so sad.

I may have not been all that close with her but everytime during a family gathering, she was one of the person who makes it so lively.

Making nice food for us, cakes......

It was a very sad news.

I just couldn't believe it....

As I've said before in my previous post, I've never experience such a thing.

This was my first.

The first thought that came to me actually was a imagination of how things happened at the ward.

The first person who came in mind was my uncle.

I just couldn't imagine how sad he would be.

I felt sorrow.

The Internet died (not working XP ) not long after I got the message so I decided to sleep early.

As I was about to sleep, I prayed to God for my aunty's soul and her family. 

After that I went to bed.

Since it happened at around 1am on the 24th of October, the first day of prayer (following the Catholic 7 days of rosary/prayer) was on that Wednesday night.

I had class the whole day so I couldn't go back for the first day.

My brothers called me and told me that there were many who attended the prayer.

But the saddest part of it was they told me how sad my grandparents were.

My grandpa cried by the coffin very sadly, talking to himself.

He must have blamed himself for something.

The news was devastating for me because I knew how sad they are.

They are around 80 years old but their daughter left before them.

It saddens me :'(

My brothers said many who were there cried for her.

On that very same night, I knew that people have already known of my aunty's passing so I checked on Facebook.

The news was spread so I decided to write as such on my status :

"Always love and treat your loved ones well..

Life has no cue cards to show you whats next, you can lose anyone without warning or invitation...

It all happened in a blink of an eye.

Though I only got to see my Aunty Rita Niap Yoke Moi for a short while yesterday, I'm glad I did.

Her suffering has ended and she has left for a better place to be with God.

Worries has left the heart of her family but sadness remains.

May God bless her soul that she may rest in peace.

May God also bless her family that sadness will not dwell too long in their heart and to be assured that she is in good hands, with the Lord.

R.I.P. Aunty Rita  

Yes, my aunty may have passed away.

But I believed she lived a miraculous life.

Though she had cancer, she had lived long enough to see her children grow up.

To see her eldest son get married....

To see her 3 younger ones enter college....

To see her first grandchild...

She was very lucky.

And I believed that God did hear my prayer for a miracle on my way back home to see her.

As mentioned earlier, her pulse reached 0 yet she was able to fight back to live.

The greatest miracle was the fact that she lived long enough for each and everyone of us to come see her.

My brother and I was the last two.

She lasted that whole evening all the way to the night being strong so that she can see us before leaving us behind.

Even after that, she lived on to allow her family to spend quality time with her till 1am in the morning.

It was truly a miracle.

So I do believe in miracles.

God is not cruel for making people suffer, God is kind to grant blessing and ending the pain.

He has done much in this one occasion.

For one, my aunty's suffering has ended and she can return to the Father in Heaven.

Then, her family and us relatives can stop worrying about her condition but left with sadness and sorrow in our hearts.

Next is that my ever older grandparents can get some rest not having to take care and worry about of her all the time.

Not to say that I want her to pass away but ain't it the best God can give to us?? =O

Well, I just hope that my aunty's soul may rest in peace and God may bless us all so that sorrow will not remain too long in our hearts.

I know my aunty will continue watching over us from above.

May God bless her soul and her family.

I love you aunty Rita

and

I will always remember you

and 

keep you in my heart.
=')

The thought of losing a loved one / An Un-predicted Day

Have you ever experienced losing a loved one?

Someone close...

A relative...

I've never imagined such a thing happening before...

I always thought, I'm very lucky because I've never experienced such a thing before...

Till this happens...

It was just another busy day at college for me...

I had just completed my maths assignment (given today and need to hand in tomorrow -.- ) with my friends..

As I was walking back to my apartment, I received a message from my dad.

I had thought it was one of those usual message where he asked me to check my bank savings after he adds in some money...

Instead it was written :

"Your aunty Rita is going to be with the Lord,

please take a train home,

I will pick you up when you arrive."

At first I wondered what it was, but after reading it I was shocked.

Its bad enough that I had quite a rough day today.

Waking up late, boring classes, hectic homeworks.

Now my dad asked me to go back home to see my aunty.

The thing is, she had cancer for a long time now.

She once got better then years later she got it again.

It got worse with time.

Now she is admitted in the hospital, fighting for her life, bound to leave us, her loved ones, any time soon.

She is going to leave this world going to a better place, returning to our Lord, the Creator.

With everything being so busy lately, I was rather reluctant to return home especially when I need to take a train.

Plus, I have a quiz for business class tomorrow and a photo shoot session this evening.

Just the thought of having to go all the way back to see a loved one pass away annoys me. (Not that I don't want to see her >o< )

I was hesitating between going back or staying.

In the end I decided to return home.

I just had to see my aunty, to give her strength.

I can't even begin to imagine not being able to see her anymore.

So as I was waiting for the taxi to arrive, I wrote this down on my phone first.

I hate what is happening to me now.

Its such a B***h and cancer is one too.

Why does such a thing even exists~~!!??

That's why I'm glad that my class is going to run a charity fund-raising for cancer.

I hope it becomes a success and we can help other cancer patients out there.

May the Lord bless our cause and my aunty.

P.S. It would be awesome if God could grant a miracle at this moment to save my aunty. :(